I know, it’s a pathetic and ridiculous question, but I recently got a boyfriend for the first time (I’m in my early 20’s, so it’s a pretty big deal to me), and I find myself having paranoid thoughts about him changing his mind CONSTANTLY. It also doesn’t help that I already have pretty low self-esteem.
He’s nice and reassures and compliments me pretty regularly, but I can’t help but think he’ll wake up one day and realize I’m ugly, boring, unattractive and leave me. I’m always scared he’ll think he could do better, or that he’ll meet a new girl he finds better, or that he’ll think I’m boring if I’m not funny or social enough for a few hours or days.
I’m also an idiot who decided to look up and stalk his exes, and they look NOTHING like me body-wise, but they all have pretty similar body types which always makes me scared that he’ll never be as attracted to me as he was to them (I’m very thin with barely any curves and his exes had more curves and… boobs, basically). He tells me constantly that apart from his childhood best friends I’m the person he gets along with the most and that he’s never gotten along this well with another girl and that reassures me a little, but I’m always scared it’s just because the relationship is new and he’s still getting to know me, but once he knows everything about me and we run out of things to say to each other he’s going to realize I’m not that much better personality-wise either and leave.
I’m also constantly scared he’s going to cheat on me because he’ll realize he can do better.
Don’t really know where I’m going with this to be honest. I know some of these thoughts can be normal but it’s been four months and I still have them very regularly. It’s making me feel like shit on a regular basis and I keep comparing myself to every girl I see and wondering if he’d think she’s better than me. If anyone’s ever gone through this and knows a way to get past it, please help. I’m desperate and going crazy because of this.